Is it ‘selfishness’ and ‘callousness’ that makes the poet break her childhood promise to her grandmother of renovating the house? Why does she do nothing about rebuilding the house?
Poet could feel the defeat- pain- miseries of her grandmother, so she promises herself to save the royal ancestral 300-year-old house for her grandmother.
But reality strikes her. She learns bitter reality that making money is not easy. She could feel the old house breaking down, white ants climbing, rats running fearlessly and she asks for forgiveness as she is incapable of protecting- recovering- restoring - renovating the house.
Inability should not be confused with selfishness or callousness.